Monday, November 20, 2006

Lighter-Than-Air: Individualism As An End-Game of Democracy

For the longest time, I've felt that there's got to be a better way. A way that allows more of us to have more, to be happy, and to help us cut away so much of the bullshit that holds us back in our everyday life. I'm not talking about some kind of hippie mumbo-jumbo. I'm talking about concrete things that we can do, that we can adopt, and that will make a difference in how we live. And there's also a big batch of stuff that keeps us from doing it. More on this in a moment, though.

So some of you know, I'm an idea guy. I have tons of ideas. I also (as some of you are painfully aware) share them. The bad ones...well, when I mention them, they get shot down. The better ones tend to get reinforced (especially when beer is being consumed), and so I try and propagate those. And the absolutely crazy ones...ah. See, I have a big fucking basket full of changes I want to make to the world that would...absolutely must...effect huge change. Egotism taken to an extreme, but just hear one of them out, ok?



We'll get back to the point of the first paragraph in a moment.

My first big crazy idea that would impact the entire world economy in a very positive way, overall: get rid of airplanes. Or at least, minimize their use as much as possible.

And...

Replace them with lighter-than-air vehicles.

Ok, ok, this is not exactly MY idea. It's been around for ages, but thanks to a rash of accidents in the 1930's (culminating with the Hindenberg), the airship / dirigible / blimp has gotten a very bad rap, in spite of being far and away the most efficient, luxurious, and yes, safe, mode of air travel.

First, my case against airplanes:


  • They are horrendously inefficient.

  • They are not inherently safe. In fact, they are inherently unsafe. It is a testiment to modern engineering, systems, and federal civic effort that they are as safe as they are.

  • 9/11/01. We all know this the hard way now: they are very easy to turn into big guided missiles.

  • As mass-transit vehicles, they are very uncomfortable.


  • But then there's this alternative.

    Imagine this, if you will: you are flying from DC to San Francisco, but instead of paying $500 for a tiny, cramped seat, with a transfer in Houston and a tiny bag of pretzels to hold you over while the Boeing you're in guzzles thousands of gallons of fuel...instead you cruise to the West Coast in something more akin to a flying resort. The trip takes 24 hours, but you don't have a seat. You have a shopping mall. A movie theater. A food court. A veritable flying city, or at least a small town! And your huge vehicle burns 1/8th the fuel of a comparable jet-engine powered airplane.

    Imagine these things serving as freighters, helping developing nations without railroads or road infrastructure ship goods and manufacturing services to remote areas.

    Imagine a flying cruise ship, and taking a dive into a glass-bottomed pool over the clear turquoise waters of the Carribean.

    Do you like this dream? I do. I am madly, passionately in love with it. I want it so bad I can taste it, sometimes.

    And happily for me and people like me, these guys are trying to do it.

    There are plenty of cases against airships, but they're technical obstacles. Mountain ranges are a problem, as are high winds. Helium is expensive, and not as efficient for producing lift as hydrogen. But these are minor sticking points, compared to the potential for changing how we move about the planet!

    Ok, so there's that. Now, to my first paragraph, which is tied to this very obliquely / obscurely, I know. But bear with me.

    I have become used to the notion of ideas changing things, and I am beginning to realize as I get older that I am a horrible individualist. As a for-instance, I want everyone else to drive a hybrid car...except me. I drive a G35 that gets 19mpg in the city. Why? Because it's fun, because I like it. Because I want it.

    It is this sense of entitlement, within myself, and then within others, that I am fighting. That I think we should all fight. And it is completely, totally at odds with democracy, or at least the American kind, which I am dubbing Democrazy (thanks, Damon Albarn!). We want, and each of us wants something different. In fact, we frequently want BECAUSE it's different. Or at least it's perceived that way.

    (And no, I'm not selling the Infiniti just yet. IT's an EXPRESSION OF WHO I AM! OK? Ha!).

    In a Democrazy, we indulge our every whim, because our whims make life worth living. Discipline is unheard of, and frequently attempts to instill it are met with hostility, contempt, or accusations of abuse. We consume too much. We attempt to force happiness into our lives by eating it, drinking it, buying it, killing it, fucking it, marrying it, divorcing it, cheating on it, preaching it to others, or smoking and snorting it. And the harder we try, the more noise we make, and the less we find. Graceless creatures!

    We're not quite there yet. Not...quite. But goddamn, we're getting close.

    So yes. All this to say, I know my airship dream comes from my sense of entitlement. Without people who came before me, I would never dare to think the way I do. I would never think that ideas, propagated properly, would be enough to shape things, and that my ego should be powerful enough to shape the world.

    This is what I bring forward to you: it's fine to dream big, and it's fine to change things, but it's time we figure out how to do it so that we are at least respectful about it: of each other, of the planet, and of who came before us and got to this point, where a big enough mind and a big enough lever can move the world.